To be a woman is the most difficult task on earth, I often say this to people around me. A man can never understand the hardships, sufferings and bearings of a woman. We live in a society where old traditions, customs and cultural norms have invaded our religious values in such a way that we see existence of male chauvinism. The desires and wants of a man are given more priority than a woman. Our family systems are painted in a way which represents male dominance and have forgotten ‘what women want.”
We are besieged by this dilemma since a long time. There is a very thin line between wants and needs. The basic needs of every individual is food, clothing and shelter. And it is no doubt being fulfilled by the Almighty without any cost and condition. On the other hand wants are the desires that arouses after the fulfillment of the needs. I have seen men enjoying their lives with whatever they want. But when it comes to a woman, what she want from life, the debate begins here.
Here I am not talking about those women who strive and excel in accomplishing their desires. I am talking about the majority of the women who cannot stand out for their desires which they long for. Woman is a multitasker, she has amalgamation of different talents. She can perform her tasks despite she is ill or tired.
A woman who is a home maker, who works constantly 365 days without any break. She is performing numerable house chores all day long, taking care of her kids, looking after other house members and most importantly providing all of her wholeheartedly to her husband. After all that, all she want is appreciation. A little pat on her back that she did well or is doing great. Women are never appreciated for the things they do the entire day. Working from dawn to dusk, making food, cleaning, washing, managing, checking, guarding, teaching, nursing, nurturing all are the jobs of a house maker that neither earn a penny nor a single word of appraisal. A word of appreciation makes a woman motivated and keep going.
Allah created a man as a guardian of a woman but He never meant that in this regard a man can disgrace or dishonor her woman. That’s what comes in our teaching of Islam. Our society has modified the principals of Islam in their own justified manner. Most of the women in our surroundings are not respected. Woman along with her family members, her principals, her interests, her feelings are not respected.
A man wants and demands to be respected, he wants that a woman respect his thoughts, dreams, interests, parents, his parents’ interests, activities, and his friends. And when in return a woman wants the same thing from him, she gets disapproval and mockery. She is ridiculed for her different thoughts, and for her unconventional mind. She is not allowed to go to her parents’ house without the approval of her in laws, she cannot go out shopping without the consent of her family, she cannot enjoy her interests or it is hanging out with friends, she is not allowed to manage things on her own. She do not have a say in decision making. This is what a woman want.
Women want freedom of speech and choice. She do not have freedom of speech, freedom to choose whether it is a profession or it is a proposal. Our family systems have paved a path for every woman on which she cannot select her life partner on her own. All the reservations, resentments, agonies, restrictions and depressions are for a woman. All she want is companionship, sense of belong, acceptance and attention. A shoulder to cry on, a person who loves to listen her without blaming. All she want is empathy, love and compassion from the person she loves.
Women are often bashed on their physical appearances. Woman; fat or slim; are unacceptable to the society. Woman looking a little healthier would listen that you are getting fat day by day try to reduce. They will get unwanted advices, diet plans and gym routine instructions. On the other hand if a woman gets slimmer, she is continuously criticized that she is getting weak, so she should eat a lot, healthier and should put on weight. Moreover women with a fairer complexion is judged that she is having a treatment and on the flip side women with darker complexion are advised to use different set of fairness creams. The actual worth of a woman is in being comfortable in herself. We live in a society where women are always stereotyped. What women want is, not to be criticized, stereotyped or judged.
A woman cannot easily pursue her interests in our male dominant society. If she is interested in pursuing her career she has to pass through different ordeals and restrictions. If reading or writing is the main interest of a woman other than cooking, than mostly she earns a remark that it would give nothing to her. If painting or art is her passion than she would hear that she only knows to create mess. If music is the core interest of her than she would be likely to hear a comment that this is not what women are meant for. Our society becomes judgmental for a woman. Here may I ask our society one unapologetic question; “Why women are only meant for housekeeping, cooking, cleaning or nurturing kids?
“Why they cannot follow her own interests?”
“Why she actually cannot get what she wants?”
A woman has extraordinary abilities to balance diverse things at one time. She can manage her interest and home equally without any neglect ion. But we have men who always tries to shatter the confidence and self –esteem of a woman.
Someone has rightly said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Two different individuals with different needs and wants. We need to understand and respect those differences. The need of hour is to bring a revolutionary change. And it begins from within. A woman needs to change herself. She must learn to prioritize herself first. She must learn to stop worrying to please others. She must know to please herself first. She must know to enjoy her skin and health. She should be confident the way she is.
If you want to change the way others treat you change the way you treat yourself. Every woman should learn to love herself as a person, feel herself important, as an individual rather than an entity whose only job is to please others.
We as a woman need to bring a change in our society. We as mother must educate our female and male children equally. Education plays the most vital role in turning the things on. We as a society needs to focus on female education and more on male brought up I say. In the present scenario we need to work on the training and education of our men more. If a woman want herself to be respected, her daughter to be respected by the men out there. Than you should prepare your sons for it. Our woman should train their male children to acknowledge the rights and abilities of a woman. They should teach them to respect her wants and desires. They should prepare their sons to applaud, appreciate, and pay attention to the wants of a woman. Impart the skills of empathy and love in the society than only we can understand what a woman want.